Friday, October 30, 2009

Inspiration in an elementary school

I had an opportunity to volunteer at my daughter's school this week. I was inspired by the speech therapists and physical therapists who attended the school to assist students in the life skills class. These teachers were amazing cheerleaders for kids who were limited by wheel chairs and walkers. One instructor created a song which I hold in my heart. "Liam is walking". I am thankful my daughter is not insulated from the real world and attends a school which is diverse.
I felt lucky to be there and think all parents should take at least 1 day from work sometime during the year to volunteer in their child's school. You may be surprised at what you learn there.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

For whom the bell tolls

"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were. Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee..." John Donne-
Meditation 17

Liberal versus Conservative

I have friends on both sides of the political aisle. One of them read this blog and assumed I was liberal. Funny......I did not think that caring about other people was a political barometer. I thought the debate about whether or not to ask the government to pay people was the political issue. You can reach out and help another person no matter what your politics are. In fact, you don't need to have a political opinion at all. Just go out and help one person whether its referral to an agency, offering work or providing a sounding board and advice. This blog is not easy to find. If you are reading this blog, your educational level is among the highest in the world. If you don't know how to find a person to help, email me and I'll help you find someone.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Quiet Heros

You see them every day and never realize who they are. They are the unsung, the dedicated and the loyal people who toil away making this world better. If you look around you and watch the teachers who place children first, you will see a new world. Stop and take the time to thank them for what they do.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Conversations one cannot enjoy

Many people think that lawyers enjoy great privilege and wealth. In many ways, they do. However, the daily practice of law can often involve seeing a view of the worst side of humanity. I look around and see my colleagues aging rapidly after they conclude particular cases.

Its not uncommon for lawyers to hear the inner most fears that clients often maintain within. Here's a sample of one lawyer's week (names changed for privacy) :

1. Observe 12 year old "Joe" break down in tears when he realizes his father is going to prison for 17 years.
2. Listen to " Pam" collapse emotionally when she realizes she is losing her home when she is the sole caretaker for her ill and infirm 80 year old parents.
3. Console "Bob" and " Julie" that their son's death would likely be ignored by the drug company with the defective product while the drug company slandered their dead son's name implying that he must have used illegal drugs or would not have died.( although he never did)
4. Tell the single mom that the Court will take away her car when she files bankruptcy because it's worth $5,000.00

And this is just from one lawyer in one week. Is it any wonder that lawyers become hardened or cynical? Do you think it must be easy? The emotional toll does not make the comfortable

Friday, July 3, 2009

Why Africa?

I recently placed a Facebook post about my friends Rudy and Michelle who are co-ordinating the delivery of 10,000 books to African school children through 4 different charities. I admire them a great deal. Rudy is an experienced globetrotter and has a global view of the world.
People have asked me "why Africa? why not here at home?" Well, quite frankly, while some of our children lag behind others, the fact remains that millions of children around the world are behind even the poorest American child. Poverty and Illiteracy are the greatest problems that plague our society. Curing those two problems improves our world immeasurably.The cultural differences in other countries and our country explain why children share books and work together as a community while we here at home often want to keep what we get without sharing.
Too often we forget how lucky we are to have the opportunities we have in this country. We provide housing with running water and electricity. our government even gives money away! No wonder so many people attempt to come to America. They are willing to break the law and risk their lives to come here because this nation is so great.
I don't ask you to forget who is in your own backyard. But ask yourself who will appreciate the gift and use it.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Lost Ones

I had a chance to speak to a great group of kids who were coming out of foster care in Nashville last week. This group of about 60 teens was part of YOUTH CONNECTION. Visit www.tnyouthconnection.net to check out the organization.These kids were typical teens in many ways. But they had no one to mentor them or guide them on how to get where they want to be as adults.
Nineteen of the kids gave me their names and emails because they had questions on how to pursue careers in the following areas:

1.real estate agent
2.social worker
3. urban forestry
4 child psychology
5 music production
6. nursing
7. Graphic Design
8. Interior Designer
9. Cardio Respiratory therapist
10. Anesthesiology nurse

These kids have dreams. These are kids who lived in foster care and have now aged out. Imagine being taken away from your family because they neglected you or worse...... harmed you. Imagine not having anyone to go to whom you could ask the simplest of things. I am trying to find adults to advise them and guide them. It only takes a few minutes and can make a big difference in their world and yours.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

The least of them

Matthew 25:45

King James Bible
Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.

I'm not sure how people can manage to walk by the homeless day after day and not stop to ask "How did you arrive here?"

How can you see someone alone in jail with no family and not wonder "What family did you have?" and "Why are you alone?"

Its very convenient to create a label for people and assume that we know what happened.....But we really have no idea. We don't know how that person arrived. The next time you see someone and "think" that you know how they arrived at their station in life, reach out....ask them and see if YOU can serve them.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Saving the world

Can it be done? Will we ever accept that we are all children of God? We are all alike no matter how we try to divide ourselves. I know a woman I will call C whom I admire a great deal. She yearns to save the world. Her choice was to adopt a baby born addicted to drugs and raise him as her own. She has struggled a great deal. He has issues inherited from his birth mother which make him more difficult than the average child. Yet C still strives. She is responsible. She is a respected professional. This adoption was her way of making the world better. I ask myself if I could do more.

I was drawn to the legal profession because of the ability to affect change and help people. I am drawn to the marginalized people in our world. Those in jail ,mentally ill, poor, elderly or disabled. My clients are not people you would ordinarily invite to cocktail parties. I try to help those that I can. But what of the ones I cannot help? I sometimes feel guilty that I don't do more but then I remember my first duty to my husband and daughter. I sometimes feel as though I've been superficial if I turn someone away. But I am reminded to take care of myself too. That is the hardest thing to remember.

I know now why priests and nuns do not marry. They give everything they are to their flocks. I am not so disciplined. I need my family and am grateful to retreat to them when the world seems harsh. My home is my sanctuary. Create a sanctuary for yourself so that you can lift others up when called upon. For you will be called. Will you hear the calling?

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

A new experience

Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you are reading this blog, it is very likely that you own a computer and have a college degree or two. You are most likely in the top 25% of American society in both education and income. Believe it or not you have advanced experiences above and beyond 75% of our society. Think about that for a moment.You have advantages and opportunities that other people will never have. As you drive down the street,remember that your life has been a gift and that you have something to offer to someone else.... You can offer your time and your encouragement.
I took on the task of chairing the Area IV Special Olympics at age 26. I was a member of the Chattanooga Jaycees and this was one of our service projects. I had no exposure to special needs individuals before that event. I did not know what I was doing but somehow managed to lead a team of 8 people in collecting toys and food for over 400 people. We fed volunteers, organized sports and gave out awards. Although I have been volunteering for non profit charities for over 20 years, this event was one of the most memorable. The participants were so happy to be there. They plunged past their fears. I plunged past mine. Choose a new experience . You won't regret it.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

For whom the bell tolls

Creating divisions between us serves no purpose/Creating labels and boxes is convenient but pointless and toxic

"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were. Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee..." John Donne-
Meditation 17


We are all the same and labeling people as bad or irresponsible serves no purpose other than to make some people feel better about themselves in some strange way. Although you may disagree with how someone chooses to live their life,we are only men and not the final Judge.
Rather than criticize......why not ask how to help or assist. Is your neighbor's yard a mess? Go help them clean it. Everyone is not equipped with the same abilities or even priorities. If you resent the fact that you keep your yard nice and they don't, then ask yourself WHY you are so angry? Stand in their shoes if only for a moment..........
In 1990, I volunteered to help Catholic Social Services to help a Vietnamese family get acclimated to American culture in Chattanooga. The family of 7 lived in a one bedroom apartment in the upstairs of an old house and all worked together sewing lace on socks since they were paid by the piece. Neighbors complained about the smell of their food and the number of people in the home. The Nuygens had different priorities. They lived modestly and pooled their money to buy a car. Then they could drive to better paying jobs. They pooled their money again and bought a modest home. They learned English. They pay their taxes and contribute to our society. The children are now attending college. They are living the American dream through hard work.
Most people will work given the chance. Those who don't have never been taught how. Take the time to teach someone even if its just one person. You will create a ripple effect that makes the world better. Your world.

Friday, February 27, 2009

My proposal to you is modest

I think we are put on this earth for service. Service to society and to God. How did I reach this conclusion? I'm not sure. I started volunteering my time to others when I was 20 years old. I became a volunteer with Big Brothers/Big Sisters of Knoxville while a junior in college. I felt compelled to help.

I was not a wealthy person from a wealthy family at the time. There were no philanthropists in my family. In fact, I was the first person in my family to graduate from college. After meeting my "Little" Dana, I was hooked. Perhaps I missed my younger sister who was back in East Tennessee with my parents. Or perhaps, just perhaps, I realized what a gift an education is. It's not only a gift but carries with it responsibility. I think at some point I realized that I was being given advantages that other people did not receive. I was born into a privileged race, which seemed unfair. I was in the mainstream of society because I worked hard, graduated in 4 years and applied to law school. I did everything the "right" way (read: what was expected of me). However, when I looked at the world around me, I saw imbalance. I saw a homeless girl my age with no family to support her emotionally. I saw how many white people around me looked down upon minorities. My heart was broken. I became drawn to protecting the underdog in many forms which plays itself out in my career as an attorney today.

This blog will detail some of those stories in the hopes that you will look outside yourself and reach out to help another. Not to help someone whom you know who can return a favor or advance your career but hopefully to inspire you to help lift someone else up. That is what I believe we are put on this earth to do.

Why proffer?

As an attorney I may participate with a client who proffers information. More importantly, as a human, I proffer

What is a Proffer?

prof⋅fer

[prof-er]
–verb (used with object)
1. to put before a person for acceptance; offer.
–noun
2. the act of proffering.
3. an offer or proposal.